Say a little prayer.....

....for my dad. He had a heart attack today. There was a blood clot behind his heart, but that has been dissolved. He will undergo some procedures tomorrow. I'm going home for at least a week....just wanted to ask you all to keep our family in your thoughts and prayers. Thanks!!

Call someone you love and tell them you care!!!

And others are not so blessed....

...however, I suppose that's a matter of opinion....

The following photos are from my friend who recently visited Long Beach, Mississippi. As promised, I wanted to share the aftermath of 'Katrina' a year later. The concrete slabs you'll see are where houses used to stand. This season, despite all the structural problems that exist with my house, I will be grateful that it is still standing, and that truly, the view from here is spectacular!!! I hope those rebuilding on the Gulf Coast can eventually say the same.





































....it's all in perception....but still....when you're comfy, cozy in your own bed tonight...remember to say a little prayer for those less fortunate.

And another....

....I'm truly blessed....

For Livey....

....thanks for reminding me to be mindful of the beauty just outside my front door.....

One Smart Bird!!!

Tuesday night the 'friend' and I were counting with Kanoni, trying to reinforce the numbers and also trying to create a connection to their meaning by holding up fingers to correspond. We held up one finger and said, 'one', a second and said, 'two', and so on until we reached ten. Then we asked Kanoni if she could count with us. We expected her to reply by verbally repeating the numbers she's heard over and over, since she's become keen on verbalizing new words lately (her latest was 'bye bye'...which expanded into "Hey (friend's name), let's go bye bye.").

To our surprise instead of actually speaking the numbers (which as of yesterday she is also doing), she held up her little claw and literally showed us one, then two, etc. in this manner. Amazing, huh?!?!! Well, you can imagine where we went with this!! By the end of this brief session with her (she IS a 'quick-study') she not only counted along with us using her claw, she also learned to high 'four' (birds are missing a digit, ya know?!) with us!!

If you don't believe me....take a look!!! :)) (In the first two pics she is counting, and giving a 'high four' in the latter two. My digital camera hesitates before the pic is actually taken, so there was a delay, argh!)

What remains.....

How symbolic this photo has become each season....the chairs were empty once again where family sat in the past. Still, they were there in spirit and in my heart.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!!

Today, I'm especially grateful for family and friends including each of you here in 'Bloggerville'!!!

My daughter called this morning and decided to cook her first Thanksgiving feast 'on her own'. She took me grocery shopping with her; I accompanied her on the ride home; and we've been hanging out in the kitchen cooking together, ha! I'm pleased that she is carrying on the tradition. We've called 'grandmother' and thanked her for the recipes we all will share today even if it has to be long distance!! We still have lots to be thankful for this holiday!!

My son is spending the day with his girlfriend's family. They were kind enough to invite me, but we'll all be together for Christmas, so everyone is going solo this year for Thanksgiving. Both of my children are with their boyfriend/girlfriend, so I'm pleased for them to celebrate in their own spaces!! We're altogether in our hearts!!

I've cooked the traditional feast myself, and I have a friend who will share dinner with me this evening. Yummm!! Nothing like turkey and dressing, huh?!

I hope that each of you will have the best celebration ever today and that you are spending the day with someone you love!!

ENJOY!! Hugs!!!

(I'll share photos later of our feast!!!) :))

Cheap thrills...

...for the 'Domestic Diva'!!! :))

A bubble bath...

...used to be a place to relax and contemplate the future....each bubble contained a wish, a dream, a hope, a scheme, a plan, a fantasy. As bubbles disappear, one is surrounded by a reflecting pool of mirky water...the blank stare of empty eyes convey the reality.....

'Mr. Bubble' is dead.

Shopping Infomercials!!

In a few days I should receive my new ' Oreck XL Professional Air Purifiers, Signature Series ' units (that's right, not one but two...it was a 'sweet deal', okay?!) with bonus gifts included for calling in right away! And while I was on hold with the operator who kept referring to her notes in order to answer my questions, visions of 'The New and Improved Titanium XL21 Premium Two Speed Model Vacuum Cleaner with 21-Year Warranty' kept invading my psyche, it was, afterall, the first 'Oreck' appliance to capture my attention some time ago. Well, can you blame me for having these dreams?! One such model was the only item to survive the hurricane that hit New Orleans...and it still worked afterwards!! I KNOW this claim HAS to be true, the owner was there beside Dave Oreck himself, and he too, works for the 'Oreck' company, he's not gonna lie to his boss about this, is he?! Without a doubt, this can be documented, right?!

So, anyway, this unfortunate (or fortunate, depending on how you see it..he still had a job AND his vacuum cleaner, and no doubt Dave compensated him for salvaging his vac) fellow held in his hand the only thing that survived Katrina...yep, his faithful and sturdy 'Oreck' vacuum cleaner! Not only did it survive, it was still working despite the fact that it looked as if a 'Mac Truck' had run over it. How impressive is that?! I was sold!! Okay...not right away. I did not want to call in based on someone playing the 'sympathy' card.

But now, several months later, I could just casually inquire about the vac as I placed the order for the purifier (which I COULD justify, because my parrot, Kanoni, is costing me a fortune in vet bills due to her sneezing from various allergies and bacteria, and the purifier I'd purchased before is a pain to clean...well, compared to the 'Oreck' one, which can just be held under a running water faucet, unlike mine, that has to be cleaned with a damp cloth and then must dry for hours before reusing it...), right?

So the confused sales lady returns and tells me that if I purchase not one, but two purifiers, I'd get a better deal, and if I set up monthly payments, I could have them paid for in no time (alright..5 months). No wonder they don't advertise the prices while on the air...who knew they were so expensive. But when you compare their product to the 'Ionic Pro Air Purifier with Bonus Ionic Pro Mini' one I purchased at 'Wal-mart', no matter how inexpensive (and at the time I thought IT was costly), it's a better deal for the money, right?

I mean they compared the one I have to theirs....when the filters were cleaned with water, the 'Oreck' served up a glass of black water, and like they said, who 'wants to breathe that?' Now that I think of it, I don't remember if they got around to showing what mine could serve, but I do recall that when they placed a bunch of balloons in front of the model like mine, nothing happened...they fell to the floor...no air flow?! But the 'Oreck' had those balloons dancing! And when they placed the 'Oreck' purifier in an acrylic box filled with smoke, it sucked that smoke right into the purifier in seconds. I guess that is what they sucked up and filled the glass with later. So why wouldn't I want, not one, but two of these life/breath-saving units in my house?! Neither will be wasted....I have a three level house...hmm...which level will get the 'Ionic'?!

So, where was I?! Oh yeah, the 'XL21 Titanium Vacuum'....the sales lady, Monica, told me if I got the vacuum cleaner there would be more bonus gifts and heck, we could just add the price of the vac to the monthly payment plan I'd already set up for the purifiers. Why not?! I'm on a roll, and she won't have to know I was suckered by the hurricane victim, poor soul, having to make his living now by selling his vacs TV screen to TV screen. Monica is very happy also, she increased her sale!!

Well, seeing that I am a busy lady here, or at least I will be as soon as my new vacuum cleaner arrives, I should get back to the work I have cut out for myself today. I've got to pack up and send back the 'Sellecca Solution 90 Day Skin Care Kit w/bonus items' that didn't work for me (not to worry, 'Susan Lucci's Youthful Essence Personal Microdermabrasion System' seems to be doing the trick...I'll keep you posted...) before the time expires. I wonder which will arrive first, my 'Oreck' purifiers, vacuum cleaner and bonus gifts, or the 'QVC Special of the Day' skin care products I ordered last night by 'Bare Escentuals' ?!? The suspense is killing me!!

'Ain't' shopping the infomercials fun?!?!

Sharing a cup of tea with Gut Rumbles....

I have a cup that I purchased when I was in Savannah, Georgia a few years ago. It is porcelain and has the design of Savannah's typical housing surrounding it, complete with trees covered in hanging moss, symbolic of the kind of scene found in this city. It's one of my favorite cups.

Awhile back, I discovered some photos in a blog that I recognized as being shot in Savannah. A fellow blogger, 'Acidman', was in the photos, and upon seeing them, I knew exactly where he was standing. Savannah is that distinct. I've since added his friend's blog to my list of favorites, and I recall commenting on the photos in my own blog. Savannah became a sort of connection to these two people I had never met, because I did know Savannah.

Oftentimes, I would fill my favorite cup from Savannah with tea or coffee before I would sit down to read my favorite blog, 'Gut Rumbles'. I felt like it connected me to the author, in some strange way, because I'd purchased it in the town where he lived.

Today I filled the cup with tea, and realized just how much I miss sharing it with my old friend, 'Acidman'. He may be gone, but he is not forgotten.

Perspective

As I was proof-reading my last post, I received a phone call from a good friend of mine. She was calling from Long Beach, Mississippi, where she is visiting with her daughter, who has moved to be near her boyfriend who works there in building construction. He is helping to rebuild homes and businesses lost to Hurricane Katrina.

My friend knew a call describing her experience would be of special interest to me, since Mississippi is my home state and the place where I spent the first thirty years of my life. I've known this particular friend for most of the remaining years that I've spent here in Virginia. We both found it ironic when her daughter told us she would be going to the Gulf Coast after graduating from college this past summer.

She says her daughter is somewhat depressed, and she was not directly effected by the devastation. She has not found a job, go figure, and that even though she would like to be of help to those in need around her, it is difficult to determine exactly what to do. The government is not doing enough, but has set mandates on what can and cannot take place without their intervention. It sounds as though most are in a kind of limbo...well, those that chose to remain. What she described to me in the first few minutes of our conversation was a 'ghost town.'

She began by telling me that she was looking out the window of the house her daughter had leased, one of the few houses that was still standing, but that surrounding the house were lots of concrete slabs where other houses used to stand. Many of the vacant houses remaining that were not leveled by the storm, were dark and hollow, marked by a big red X to signify that they were condemned. She had no idea where the former occupants were now.

While she mentioned that some clean-up had taken place, she described what she saw scattered around the concrete slabs and remaining houses. There was a random VCR with a tape strung out across the ground from it. There were other such identifible objects but the general feeling was bleak. No one had bothered to pick up the items strewn about. The owners were no longer present and besides, where would one put these destroyed possessions?

Long Beach is just a small town that is part of the long stretch of beach that is considered the Gulf Coast. It is not being rebuilt so quickly, and all shopping must be done in nearby Ocean Springs, which is a town that is a bit larger and has residents who were wealthier to begin with, and could afford to rebuild and remain where they were before.

Many of the residents of Long Beach are no where to be found, and the few that stayed, seem too poor, too devastated to determine what to do next. They seem to be waiting, biding their time, hoping for something better to happen in their lives. In the meantime, they exist on the meager monies (One such person shared that she'd received $14,000.00, which sounds like a lot of money, but we are talking about replacing a lifetime of possessions, including a house. In perspective, I recall viewing the renovation of a bathroom on a recent episode of a television program on 'HGTV'. The couple had saved enough money to turn their bathroom, deemed 'the ugliest in the neighborhood,' into the 'most elaborate and impressive they could afford.' Their budget was $45,000.00.) they've received from FEMA, which is just enough to keep them going, but not nearly enough to rebuild their broken homes and lives.

My friend did not mention the beach except to say that in this particular location, a huge cargo ship was docked in the Gulf at Long Beach just before the hurricane hit. It was full of crates of frozen chicken (yet another irony, because my ex made his fortune exporting chicken overseas), tons of chicken if my guess is correct. Concerned citizens inquired if the cargo could be moved before the storm hit, but there were no answers to their pleas to have it removed. Thus the reason for the condemnation of so many of the homes in the area was because of the pollution created by the vast amount of spoiled and rotting chicken scattered everywhere.

Needless-to-say, the description my friend provided of the coastline was of the sight of miles of nothing but debris and chicken bones for as far as she could see. She indicated that she would like to go out with garbage bags out and begin collecting the aftermath, but she had no clue where she would place it all afterwards.

While we were talking, one of the neighbors walked over to tell my friend that she was putting out some garbage, but that it was already full of maggots. She wanted to let her know she was aware of this situation, but that she had no clue what to do about it. My friend assured her she would add some Clorox bleach to the can, since she fortunately had some on hand. I could hear the lady respond with gratitude. Like my friend's daughter, I am sure she has become exhausted and overwhelmed, and therefore, despondent, considering the magnitude of work before her.

My friend went on to ask her what could be done with all the remaining trash that was continuing to be part of the ongoing problem, and this is when she learned that she and most residents were still waiting for word from 'officials', because they were told the situation needed to be assessed as it was in order for them to receive the proper assistance for their particular situation. Apparently they have been waiting for a long time, with no one appearing, so when threatened with maggots or worse, one has to do what one can do, I suppose, whatever that is.

A year later, these people seem to be forgotten, though their lives are far from being restored, now, if ever. At the end of our conversation, we were 'wondering,' as I have wondered this morning about other things, what we can do to change this situation. I will begin by passing this story on to all of you. My friend told me she had taken lots of pictures to share with me, because she knows I have a fondness for photography, and so I asked her to have her daughter send copies of the photos to me. I will share those with you, as well.

I can't do much more at the moment. But as I ponder the things I've heard, and eventually will see, I am challenged to do more than just sit and wonder....

...to be continued......

Today I am wondering....

...about a number of things. I have questions for which I would really like some answers.

I wonder why it is that after I spent my lifetime creating beautiful, meaningful memories, I was told by the parties involved, and by friends and family members, to 'forget the memories and move on,' rather than to build upon them. I wonder how someone could be so cruel, as to tell me in this situation, to 'get a life' after having invested so many years in creating my life, through good times and bad (and feeling quite successful in doing so, I might add)? I wonder how others could make decisions (involving my life) that would contribute to destroying the 'reward' of my creation. I wonder how someone could be so thoughtless and self-centered.

I wonder why post-divorce when I spoke with my lawyer and needed him to come out and take a look at some physical problems with my house, I felt it necessary to have another male around. Instinct, I wonder? I wonder why that even with these safeguards in place, he still cornered me with a 'bear hug' I could not escape, so that he could plant a kiss on my lips? I wonder why he decided, at that point, it was okay to become unprofessional with me.

I wonder why I feel I can't tell someone? I wonder why I feel it won't matter, even if I do, or that somehow I'll become the guilty party.

I wonder if the accusation he made before he left, concerning the nature of my relationship with the male friend, was intended as 'blackmail', as well as the follow-up letter he sent to my home a few days later implying/suggesting that the friend could actually become a 'threat'/a reason to lose my alimony? I wonder if that letter, with that suggestion, was intended as a threat...a means of silencing me, so that I would not threaten him?

I wonder why later, when I called him again (pretending, almost, that nothing had happened), to have him clairfy a specific term in my settlement that only he could explain (since he was responsible for composing the term), why he changed the subject to an 'inquiry' about the nature of my past sexual relationship with my ex. He told me he wanted to explain to me why my ex, like so many men he'd observed in divorces, felt the need to become a cheater. I wonder why my lawyer felt he needed to explain this to me, when all I wanted to ask about was my health insurance?

I wonder why he did not end that 'dialogue' after I continued to discuss the reason I called? I wonder if he mentioned my male friend again as a threat if I did not entertain his line of questioning. I wonder why he felt it was okay to ask me if I gave my husband 'blow jobs' during our marriage, and if so, did I 'spit or swallow?!' I wonder why I stayed frozen with the phone in my hand at that moment.

I wonder how many women have suffered this kind of indignity with him? I wonder how he manages to keep his license to pratice law.

I wonder if I learned early in life to believe my voice would not be heard if I complained. I wonder if it would feel satisfying to speak up and tell my side of a story, even if I have to suffer humiliation in the process?

I wonder if my parents really expected me to 'be seen and not heard?' I wonder if that is why they did not come to my rescue when the blind man they provided a ride to church to, molested me in the back seat of the car when I was only four years old (give or take). I wonder why they did not figure out what he was doing to me when I begged to sit in the front seat with my baby sister? I wonder why they placed me there in the first place, and then ignored me. I wonder if they ever knew.

I wonder about so many other situations that happened to me in life, before and after these specific events, which I find myself wondering about today.

I wonder if I can change the outcome of these situations as they are occurring? I wonder if I am to blame somehow. I wonder if anyone is accountable.

I wonder why others seem to distance themselves from me when I share these kinds of stories? I wonder if I am to blame for everything that happens to me. I wonder if this is to be expected in life, considered life experiences, nothing more?

I wonder if there are any meaningful answers. I wonder if anyone cares?

The Difference a Day (or Three) Makes.....

The trees outside my kitchen window three days ago...




The same trees today...

The trees outside my kitchen window.....

....are bare now, much like this empty page was before I began to write. Sometimes I just sit and stare at the empty page, wanting so badly to come up with something/anything to place upon it. Is that really necessary?! Can I just live with the emptiness, the barrenness?! It's apparent that I've had little to say lately. Can I live with that?! There is a season for this it seems. I'm challenged to just let it be....to embrace the quiet stillness of it all.

(This is not a current pic, I'll post one tomorrow, but my son took this one last year that captures the mood. If I've posted it before, my apologies. I do like using what he saw.)