Something Tells Me......

I just read an e-mail from someone which left me with the thought that this person does not like to be alone. I used to think perhaps I was one of those people. (Heck, I'd been married so long that I never imgined I'd find myself alone again.) But today I don't think I am a person who must have another in her life. I don't know if that's a good thing or not, it just is what it is.

I moved on to the next e-mail addy to see what was there. I typically scour the news headlines on the homepage first. If I find something interesting, I skim over it and maybe even pass it along to a friend. This is what I found today, and I think it's worth going back to read in its entirety. I've also thought of myself as a 'conditioned' negative person, though I always 'hoped' I was not. Many of my friends do not see me that way, some do, others are just indifferent. I know I try NOT to be, but perhaps my efforts fall short.

I've not read the entire article, but I believe this one will be worth reading. The word that leaped out at me was 'honesty'. I used to put a lot of stock in that word. I've learned that there is a difference between someone saying they are 'honest' versus actually telling the 'truth'. Many thoughts are shared as a person's 'honest opinion', but often it's only that--an 'honest opinion', which is often NOT the same as sharing the 'truth'. They may truthfully believe that their honest opinion is valid, but the truth may be that it is just an opinion, possibly not founded in truth at all. So much in life becomes jumbled when one cannot distinguish between the two. Real deception or, at the very least, a misdirection/misunderstanding can take place when this occurs. An honest opinion can certainly be false, even far from the truth.

I have friends like the one in the article, who make a habit of giving out 'quasi-compliments' or remarks appearing to be helpful, informative, etc., when in fact, they are catty, hurtful, very critical and undermining. I feel zapped/stung by these types of exchanges as well as speechless and disabled when dealing with someone acting in this manner. While I may be 'Miss Doom and Gloom' at times, I make it a habit to avoid stinging and mean spirited remarks masked as a compliment. If I'm being mean or sarcastic in an argument, for example, there is no doubt it was my intent to take a jab, and even then I'm not pleased when I've stooped so low.

Wow...now I get an IM from a guy (I've not talked to him in ages--you'll see why) who has used what I consider to be every tactic in the book to justify his flirtatious behavior as a married man. Ha!!! Now he's telling me that he and his wife have decided to have an 'open marriage'--one where they are 'free to have sex with others' but 'with the 'consent of one another'. Sheesh!!!!! WHY be married?!?! There is NO need attempting an exchange with this person or those like him. Their only goal is to have you participate in their lewd conversation. Having you share your own TRUE thoughts and feelings it not their desire.

I find myself asking, 'Why do I come online?' Perhaps what I find here is a snippet of the real world in a nutshell--the stuff that soap operas are made of-- deception and cattiness, sexual perversion (redundant?), the chase--the list is endless. Maybe I just think my real life is boring.

Today, I've changed my mind. I'm going to go out and make of it what _I_ want it to be!! Something tells me that's going to be good!!! Oh, that gives me a theme song for the day (Allie McBeal like, remember?). I'll leave you with it because it conveys just the energy I want to carry into my day (Mary Tyler Moore comes to mind, ha!). Go out and have a good day yourself!!! :)) I'm gone--I DO have plans for today AND tomorrow. Thank 'God', I need an escape!!!!!!

Who knew?!?!

For those of you who, like myself, have had difficulties with feeling resentment toward a cheating spouse, the following information might help you find new perspective and to actually breathe a sign of relief. And yes, it may even help you to let go (seems to be a running theme with me...letting go). If so many books are written about these topics, I must not be alone; and you know, this new book I've discovered makes me glad to be on THIS side of the equation.

I used to tell the ex (I need to come up with a new title for him...there's a song I heard recently that I'll have to find and add here...the title is *Note to Self*...ha...I'm digressing...anyway...) that I felt he had reduced himself to the 'lowest common denominator' of society by the way in which he chose to deal with his 'issues' (surrounding our marriage/separation/divorce). I know that in some marriages men and sometimes also women feel that they have a 'reason' to cheat. Such 'reasons' are usually based on what they feel is a major flaw in their spouse or marital relationship. This book reassurred me that I don't have to feel as if I'm the cause of my ex's pathetic choices, that in fact part of his tactic was always to make me 'feel' that I was to blame -- you know, he was basically trying to displace his own feelings of guilt by finding fault with me, yada yada. But I'm getting ahead of myself here, so let me back up....

One night (in the wee hours of the morning actually), I was yet again bitching and moaning about this long ago worn-out topic of infidelity and the aftermath. A very kind and tolerant person, a fellow blogger for that matter, lent a sympathetic ear. Obviously, it was a theme she'd heard all too often (and apparently so have many others). Wallah, she presented me with a book title, feeling I would certainly connect with the info therein, and now I present it to those of you who can relate.

I will tell you that the knowledge I gained from reading this has left me with a slightly different perspective. While the info was not new to me, it was outlined in a most helpful way -- one that could be grasped easily. It has provided me with a sigh of relief and a sense of the reality of the situation that I needed to see more clearly. It gave me a chance to sort of 'float above the room', to see myself and the situation from afar, and to see the role my ex played against the one I assumed in the process.

If you're in need of such a rescue, then this book is for you. I only want to hear back from you if you DO NOT see your cheating spouse in the manner presented. I'm amazed that this behavior is so common among men. If I were such a cheating scoundrel, recognizing myself in this book would leave me embarrassed and ashamed instead of walking about with an arrogant chip on my shoulder.

Thanks, C, for the relief this book has provided me!! Love ya, girl!! :))

I am awestruck!!

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Words cannot adequately describe the concert I experienced with these two great artists last night!! Separately they are outstanding and most unique--together they are magical, dynamic, pure--nothing short of amazing! To say I was awestruck is an understatement! I've attended a lot of concerts in my lifetime, I'd even heard Alison Krauss before and had no idea what to expect from this combination, but this was seriously unlike anything I've ever witnessed musically.

In the first set, I had tears in my eyes, literally, as I took in the beauty of it all. The instrumentation, the blending of two powerful, yet smooth, voices....it was just overwhelming!! I cannot say enough good things about these phenomenally talented artists! Some people were just born to do what they do...talent seemed to ooze from their very beings! I am so pleased to have witnessed what I'm already considering the divine intervention that brought these two together....they were just astounding!

So, needless-to-say, if you have the opportunity to see them as they tour, I can assure you that you will be glad you did! Listening to the CD again just now, I find that it is impossible to capture the essence of the live performance I witnessed...it was truly like no other. I felt that Alison Krauss' voice was the female version of Robert Plant's or vice versa...both were powerful, strong, smooth....just the ultimate perfect blend...harmony that was out of this world...seriously, it was hard to tell where one began and the other ended. Their coupling was indeed fate!!! (Can you tell I LOVED this duet...actually, T Bone Burnett and the band served as the perfect vehicle for delivering this amazing show!) Kudos to them all!! The combined experience was dynamic and heartwarming all at the same time!! Catch them if you can!!! I promise you, even if you have not been a fan of either, you will experience a life-changing event! Together they are something new and different and unforgetable!