Happy Birth Day to Me!!!

On this day, twenty-six years ago, I gave birth to a 9 pound 5 ounces, twenty-two inches long son. I've kept a journal written to him from early in my pregnancy. I've continued to keep it over the span of his lifetime. It still belongs to me, and until I die, I suppose, or there becomes another reason to turn it over to him, I will keep it.

There I have chronicled his 'firsts'.... day at home, sounds, smile, successful sleep through the night, recognition of a voice or a face, rolling over on the bed (and sometimes falling off), word, illness, step, fall, bump or scrap, playmate, toy, blanket, favorite song or book, outing, potty seat, separation from mom, day at 'Mom's Day Out', stay at grandparents, sadness or disappointment, recognition of self in the mirror, babysitter, tricycle, the list goes on and on right up until his first day of kindergarten and eventually high school graduation, first job, dream, hope, emerging talent, kiss, heartbreak, girlfriend, car, move from home.

It contains random letters from his dad, words of wisdom and love and appreciation for the roles we've played in his life and he in ours, and our wishes for his well-being and happiness, strength and success in life. It's a memory book and a book of our hopes for his future, our gratitude for every moment we've known him.

Today I will add a new post to the journal in celebration of his birth. Though separated by hundreds of miles, I will keep my child close in heart this way. I will look forward to the day he can visit to read and share this moment with me. I will recall his first birthday, and in his absence an echo will be heard through the stillness of the empty house, as I quietly hum....'Happy Birth Day to Me'... .

I love you, Will!!! I hope you have a great birthday, wherever you are!!