Family Gatherings

In our family a gathering of any sort becomes a time to deal with unresolved issues once again. We're all aware there are times more appropriate than others for doing this, but it seems that when we are experiencing the greatest stress, those issues surface. Of course, that is when we need to draw upon our greatest resources, and when we feel inadequate, we look for the reasons why we feel this way, oftentimes blaming something or someone from our past. Also, if the person/persons are there before you to recreate those past experiences, it's difficult to ignore them. It challenges your very being.

This happened to me when I was home. I feel that I managed my reactions better this time than I have in the past, but no matter how old I am, how much I've changed and grown emotionally and otherwise, and despite the grave circumstances there to deal with, I become a 'child' again when home with the folks. There were a couple of brief encounters that left me feeling a bit ashamed of my responses, but overall, I feel I handled them well. But today I'm wondering if the exchanges were necessary at all?!

As I reflect upon them, I realize I am better at separating myself from the actions and behaviors of others. I believe I take personal responsibility for my own behavior without blaming someone else for how I respond or initiate in a situation. I see clearly how others have effected me in the past and how they continue to effect me in the present. It's good information to have, I suppose. I'm hoping to utilize this knowledge in ways that will help me to 'grow up', at last.

One important lesson I've learned this visit (reminds me of Oprah's 'One thing I know for sure' article in her magazine) is that time runs out too quickly.