What's a Holiday?!
It struck me as funny today when I noticed the little icon flashing that I am online! Ha!!
Yep, I'm here in a daze...wondering where to begin my post, my day, my life?!? I look over at a stack of neglected bills to pay..nahh....then there are all these decorations scattered around the house....remnants of Halloween, for God's sake, or Thanksgiving, depending on how the Jack-o-lanterns are turned! Sort of like I feel sometimes....I just don't wanna turn and face the day....I can't believe it's another day, and I have no clue where I am going.
One year, a few years back, I finally got my Christmas tree (oops...in our town this year we're asked to refer to it as a 'Holiday Tree') up and partially decorated, only to leave it there for about the next 3 years of my newly 'separated-from-hubby' life. It worked for me. The holidays did not seem so traditional anymore anyway...so why not break tradition altogether?
It was great as a 'Christmas-in-July' tree, very patriotic, and besides, my birthday is in July also, so I had two events covered. Sometimes, late at night, when I was rattling around this big empty house, I would turn the lights on the tree, and there would be this instant warmth, and I could sit and bask in it for awhile and remember when.
I wish I could say it was the hubby I missed, ok, now and then I do, but mostly, I missed the noise, the laughter, the arguments created by family and tradition. That's what holidays are all about anyway, aren't they?! Well, that and too much food! Strange that, just a little bit of food today is too much!
Holidays are meant to be shared. Homes are meant to be shared. What of memories?! Are they not for sharing also, or are we left to warm ourselves with them alone? I wonder....I wonder about this and many other things....I wonder if I should drag that tree out again, now that I've finally put it away? I wonder if I will put away the faceless Jack-o-lanterns whose candles burned out long ago?!
(Borrowed from my own....'myspace' blog for today!!) :))
Yep, I'm here in a daze...wondering where to begin my post, my day, my life?!? I look over at a stack of neglected bills to pay..nahh....then there are all these decorations scattered around the house....remnants of Halloween, for God's sake, or Thanksgiving, depending on how the Jack-o-lanterns are turned! Sort of like I feel sometimes....I just don't wanna turn and face the day....I can't believe it's another day, and I have no clue where I am going.
One year, a few years back, I finally got my Christmas tree (oops...in our town this year we're asked to refer to it as a 'Holiday Tree') up and partially decorated, only to leave it there for about the next 3 years of my newly 'separated-from-hubby' life. It worked for me. The holidays did not seem so traditional anymore anyway...so why not break tradition altogether?
It was great as a 'Christmas-in-July' tree, very patriotic, and besides, my birthday is in July also, so I had two events covered. Sometimes, late at night, when I was rattling around this big empty house, I would turn the lights on the tree, and there would be this instant warmth, and I could sit and bask in it for awhile and remember when.
I wish I could say it was the hubby I missed, ok, now and then I do, but mostly, I missed the noise, the laughter, the arguments created by family and tradition. That's what holidays are all about anyway, aren't they?! Well, that and too much food! Strange that, just a little bit of food today is too much!
Holidays are meant to be shared. Homes are meant to be shared. What of memories?! Are they not for sharing also, or are we left to warm ourselves with them alone? I wonder....I wonder about this and many other things....I wonder if I should drag that tree out again, now that I've finally put it away? I wonder if I will put away the faceless Jack-o-lanterns whose candles burned out long ago?!
(Borrowed from my own....'myspace' blog for today!!) :))
posted by Di at 3:03 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home