Saturday, April 14, 2007

Changes ('No matter where you go, there you are')

I received a comment to a recent post from a person who chose to remain anonymous. She offered a positive suggestion and kind understanding which I appreciate. By venting my feelings, I'm sure I often appear negative, clueless, and hopeless. On that particular day I just wanted to state some feelings and remove them from myself. I once heard that one way of accomplishing this is to literally write your concern on a piece of paper, put it in a box (the 'God Box'), cover it and then place it on a high shelf in the farthest corner of a closet--the idea being you turn it over to a 'power greater than yourself' and then try to forget about it or at least let it go. Sometimes it works--other times it helps to just acknowledge how you feel and move on. This was my desire when I vented that day.

As I pondered the words left in the comment, I was reminded of a coffee mug I used to carry with me from time to time. On the mug were the words: 'No matter where you go, there you are.' I can apply this in two separate ways in regard to one suggestion left for me (to possibly move to another location/post divorce--which I HAVE considered). It is wise to try to turn the negative feelings into positive ones--to do something constructive in life. That is not lost on me--I know I can move on and 'create' a 'new life' for myself and 'there I'll be', hopefully, not wallowing in my past. But sometimes, too, 'no matter where you go', the feelings go with you. Eventually, I know I will move on, literally or figuratively. I look forward to that day.

In the meantime, this 'dialogue' motivated me to think about the things in life that I tend to take for granted--the more positive things/tactics that do keep me going and bring me a level of pleasure.

One I've applied was influenced by a good friend of mine. She collects antiques of all kinds including a collection of antiques dishes, especially cups and saucers. They are not for show, she actually uses them. She's taught me to take out the items we keep in the cupboard and enjoy them. Sharing them with others doubles the pleasure.

I invited her to share Easter with me along with another friend, and for the first time, maybe ever, I took out the fine china to use for our brunch. I've used it several times since as I've treated myself to a cup of coffee and dessert. The dishes are rather delicate and prettier than I thought (I'd never really liked them that much--there were no patterns available that I particularly cared for back in the day when I was choosing, so I let my then fiance' choose). While using the dishes, I became mindful of the pleasure provided by a simple cup of flavored coffee delivered in pretty china. Small things can make you feel special if you take the time to notice.

One thing can lead to another also. There were new patterns of china that became available soon after mine were purchased. The thought occurred to me that I could eventually purchase the ones I liked, but I never did. Recently, I searched online and discovered they are still available, and I've decided to mix things up a bit and add a few pieces to my cupboard. My kids were even excited by the prospect---they now know what to give me for Mother's Day, my birthday, Christmas, etc. Won't that be fun?!?!

Change does not have to be negative and unwelcomed. While many times a change is challenging, even the challenge can motivate us to find ways to 'wake up and smell the coffee'.

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